Finding my biological father

I saw an Oprah show the other day about adult children of sperm donors wanting to find their biological father. This got me to thinking.

Even though I have 4 parents (mom/SF and dad/SM) I actually have one more parent. My biological father and mother split soon after I was born and the last time I remember seeing him I was about 6 years old. It is now 24 years later (I still can't believe I'm turning 30 in May) and I decided to finally search for him. In about 15 minutes, I had located him. I still can't believe it. I e-mailed him a generic e-mail with basic information and he responsed confirming who he is.

I e-mailed him back with more information and a slight history about what has been going on in my life. I'm still a little shell-shocked. I also had a very vivid dream last night about finding him. I feel a little weird.

I told him and honestly feel the only reason I wanted to find him was for basic information. I don't feel the need to fill a whole in my heart or life, I have a great family and of course, there's Michael. I wonder what he's been up to, if I have other siblings, where he's at now in his life. I'm also somewhat curious why he hasn't attempted to find me after I became an adult. I figure it's because he wanted me to live my life and find him when I was ready, but I haven't felt like I was missing something. What if I never decided to look for him? Someone said maybe he was afraid of being rejected. I guess I will find out soon enough.

Overall I do feel good. Of course, now I need to tell mom. I think she will be ok with it (I mean it doesn't really have anything to do with her and she always told me I could look for him if I wanted), but I still worry. Hey, that's me after all - the worrier.

So, I will keep you posted as this goes on. This really is a huge deal, but maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet.

Oh and I'm off school for 3 weeks on a break - Yippee! Plus, Michael and I are finally over being sick.

~Jenn