Posts (page 2)

So, I've started the "Jenn Super-Weight Loss Challenge" t.o.d.a.y. That's right, you are here, in the beginning.

Day 1 (ominous music - duhn duhn DUHHHHHN)

So far, I'm doing well. I've actually had a "I should be proud of myself" moment. I am currently sitting in a McDonalds parking lot (for their wi-fi access *cheesy grin*), but more than that, I went INSIDE (gasp!) and didn't order anything. I just used the restroom and promptly left. In fact, the smell that normally weakens my resolve and causes me to order a burger/fries didn't phase me. Let's hope that smell isn't just sitting somewhere idle in my brain to only come out later when I'm not strong enough to combat it. And yes, McDonalds is my achilles heel of fast-food places. Maybe I just had a 300 moment and now I'm a Spartan soldier. Hmmm. Nice imagery.

I've been drinking tons of water (hence me needing to pee every 10 minutes, lol) and scarffed down a WW strawberry smoothie mid-morning. Maybe that helped my hunger pains subside for the moment.

Well, I made it through the entire day and did well. I grabbed some carrot sticks, apple slices and low-fat mozarella cubes to munch on before class. I made it through class and once I got home had a PB&J sandwich with a snack-size bag of light butter popcorn. Yippeee.

Wish me luck. Wish me strength and motivation. I'm gonna need it.

~Jenn

I need to lose weight. I eat terribly (there I said it) and don't excercise at all. How in the world can I get motivated? I feel physically gross, uncomfortable and just plain yucky. I feel like a stuffed turkey. It's tough any more for me to find anything at all to wear, even if it's just jeans and a t-shirt. What's wrong with me? Why am I having such a hard time with this?

Blech.

Maybe this will start my first day. Maybe, if I'm accountable somewhere I can get myself back on track.

Here's hoping.

~Jenn

I realize hate is a strong word. Probably too strong of a word, maybe I should use “dislike”. However, after last night, that is the impression that stayed with me.

I am now in Sociolgy. The study of society. Somehow we started on the topic of Police Officers and why people get pulled over without reason (or their car/house/person searched without reason). I, of course, defended police officers to the very end. Because of my parents and husband, law enforcement is EXTREMELY near and dear to my heart. It is a HUGE part of who I am and how I identify with others in this world. So, to hear people spewing dislike about how police officers are so discriminating, they only pull over certain people, they always mistreat people, blah blah BLAH, my hackles go way up.

Then, afterwards, the conversation plays over and over in my head until I feel like exploding. I want to scream:
”Don’t you understand what a cop has to go through on a routine basis?”
”How would you like to have people cussing you out, yelling, spitting, kicking and attempting to hurt you, yet you are expected to have a smile on your face?”

“It would only take 1 time for a cop to let their guard down (trust a person they don’t know) for them to get stabbed, shot, beaten – KILLED!”

“How can you condemn them to the ends of the earth, yet continually expect them to drop everything and be your hero, only saving you from your own stupid mistakes?”

I hurt.

I hurt for my mom, who had to see kids being abused, traffic accidents because people failed to signal (and ended up dying), child molesters on the loose and she could only do her best to protect people. She worked with no partner, in a male dominated society and almost the entire department working against her. Yet, she’s the “bad guy”.

I hurt for my husband, who responds to an engulfed apartment fire FIRST, attempts to break in the door twice, while injured, with no fire-protective gear on, stays around after the firefighters arrive to end up saving the lives of 3 people whose apartment was full of smoke – then get medical help after everyone else is ok. Or, he arrives on scene to find a woman’s face has been shot off, because her husband was a jerk and didn’t want her to call 911 due to him beating her. Or he pulls over a teenager for running a stop sign, breaking curfew with his parents unaware, or the drunk guy that gets arrested – and is potentially prevented from killing someone.

Yet – he’s the “bad guy”.

One person actually said “Oh, I have nothing against your husband.” Ok, but my response is “not until he puts on that uniform. THEN you do.” That is my point. That is what no one admits to or wants to hear or wants to change in their perspective.

I hurt.

~Jenn

Well, I convinced Michael to let me buy us a laptop. Yeehaw! It is so pretty. It's midnight blue and silver on the inside with a matching mouse (I know, I know; But I'm a woman after all). It's been great to use with school. Did I mention school?

I'm working on my Associate's Degree. So far, I'm really enjoying the classes. My first one was Intro to Spanish (my final grade was a 99.3% *grin* and now I am in Intro to Psychology. I really enjoy the instructors. There are a few people in my class that I am growing very annoyed with, maybe now that I have easier online access I will be able to blog more.

So, back to the laptop. Did I mention how pretty it was?! LOL. Yes, I'm smitten.

~Jenn

What decision changed the course of your life? 
Submitted by Ally.

There are a few specific moments in my life that could be considered as "life changing decisions". The decision to accept Christ in my life, the decision to move out on my own, the decision to not allow my ex-husband to treat me badly anymore and utimately leave him, the choice to find someone who would genuinely love me as God intended.

However, I do remember one distinctive moment that changed the course of my shy, doormat personality.

When I was 15, my step-sister and I were at the mall waiting on the elevator. She is a year younger than me and has a disability that causes her to need a scooter or wheelchair. Anyway, we got to the elevator that had a throng of 12-13 year old kids standing in line for it too. While waiting another guy and his friend (also in a wheelchair) came up to wait with us. Realizing that the kids weren't going to allow us and the other disabled guy use the elevator first, I spoke up suggesting that they move out of our way.

They kindly obliged and once in the elevator the other guy thanked me for saying something because he wouldn't have and would've been forced to just wait there. My step-sis also expressed her gratitude and opinion that those kids would'nt have moved out of the way.

I had never felt so empowered before. I had stood up for myself and more importantly for my step-sis and the other disabled guy who needed services like an elevator just to get around the mall. I had also done so without getting mean, angry or upset but with poise and some humor.

I very much believe this moment gave me the confidence to stand up to the "crowd" of people that we all sometimes have to stand up to. It's hard to be a voice, especially a loud one.

~Jenn

I just had to get this out to someone. First off, Michael is ok.

As some of you know, Michael is a cop. He works midnights and is coming off his shift when mine is starting. I usually see him for a few minutes before I leave. Well, this morning I am just waking up and hear thumping through the house. Michael gets to our bedroom door (girls aren't here) and hobbles in. Of course, I jump up asking what's wrong, etc. as he hobbles to the nearest chair. He's got a tear in his pants, scratches on his arm. Needless to say, I was a bit concerned.
Come to find out, there was a burning apartment and he was the first on scene. Because noone was sure if there were people inside or not, Michael attempted to bust in the door. This was for a 2nd floor apartment. He said the balcony was on fire and when he attempted to kick the door in, it knocked burning wood loose that fell on him. He stumbled back, grabbing ahold of some railing that gave way and down the stairs he went.

I have to tell myself to - Breathe. 

Everyone else got there, but Michael still went door to door to make sure others got out ok, fortunately he was the only one hurt. He saved some lives last night.
Finally, his supervisor had him go to the hospital to get patched up and sent him home. He's on light duty the next 3 nights. He's got a badly sprained ankle and knee, bad gashes, bruising and various burns on his arms and neck. I got him setup in his recliner downstairs with some pain medication and everything he might need before I headed to work.
I am so thankful he is ok. I am so glad that God was watching out for him last night. Let me tell you how heart stopping the thoughts of what could've happened were for me as I was in the shower.

~Jenn

Do you ever encouter a person that you might work with or see on a regular basis that seems to not be "with it"?

There is a guy in the building I work in that is just plain odd. He mutters to himself alot and just spouts out random senseless phrases to everyone that passes by. I've always been polite and nice to him, said Hello and smiled, but quite honestly I always hope to avoid him because of his muttering ways. 

Does that make me a bad person?

I don't ever wish him ill or feel completely uncomfortable (as if to question his motives with people) around him, but he seems to lack basic socialization skills to be able to converse with everyday people. Sometimes I wonder if that is ever correctable. If polite social conversation can be learned late in life. I appreciate my ability to be politely social.

Then again, maybe Mr. Mutters helps to make life interesting.

~Jenn

How old were you when you had your very first boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you still know them now? 
Submitted by KIM. 

If I can remember correctly, I believe my first "boyfriend" was in 7th grade. For some time he was my next door neighbor. We lasted a whole 3 days, which also included a very brief kiss. His name was Josh Blankenship. I lost touch with him not to long after that and he later moved to another city/school.

~Jenn

I am so glad the weekend is here. Sigh. Heaven's sake, I was ready for this day to end! It was so hot, which made me sleepy, sweaty and just plain uncomfortable (and I'm not even pregnant! lol).

I told Michael, I had no ambitions for this weekend. It's a kid-free weekend and maybe we should just walk around in our jammies the whole time.

But, I did finish the last Harry Potter book (the Deathly Hallows). Man was it good! Michael made me read the first 6 before he'd let me touch this one. I am so glad I have finished. I was entrenched in this book for a whole day. Oddly enough, I can't wait to see the movie produced from it.

~Jenn

I think I am starting to get bored at work.

Ugh.

What's a girl to do? I wonder if maybe I am not challenged enough. Sounds good, eh? Well, that's what everyone says when someone is bored, lazy, etc.

Oh - they're not challenged enough. That's the problem. What if it isn't? Hmmm.

I have enrolled at a local community college for a program to get an Associate's Degree in Applied Science for Massage Therapy. Say that 5 times fast.

I suppose I will just have to tough it out for the next 14 months until my schooling is over. Ugh, again. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited about school, but I am not looking forward to 14 months of my life committed to this. I'm ready for it now.

~Jenn